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The Modern Butlers’ Journal for Service Professionals Worldwide, February 2014

BlueLogo2011web The Modern Butlers’ Journal for Service Professionals Worldwide, July, 2012

The Modern Butlers’ Journal volume 10, issue 2

International Institute of Modern Butlers

IIMB Chairman Steven Ferry The Modern Butlers’ Journal for Service Professionals Worldwide, July, 2012 Message from the Chairman 

The Wall Street Journal published an interesting article a few days ago on butler schools tussling over what they consider to be proper training for butlers—something the Institute has been soapboxing over for a decade now. In fact, the editorial of the last MBJ touched upon this very subject.

The number of people training others to be butlers has burgeoned over the last few years, and it does not appear that all these trainers have ever been butlers, let alone been well educated on how to be a butler, with all the skills, with the nuances and understandings in application  that take a lifetime to develop. I have been in this profession a quarter of a century, and if I were to statisize how much I know of what I should know, it would be about 25%! Maybe by the time I am 135, I will have the job down cold!

I sympathize with both camps: we need to retain the traditional, as well as cater to the technology-centric  environment and international cultures that we serve. This requires a synthesis of both standards, which is what we, and no doubt the better schools and trainers, do. Arguing how “the other camp is no good” is the kind of game we butlers seem to enjoy—on a par with “should one serve at table in a clockwise or anti-clockwise direction”—an argument usually characterized by raised eyebrows, testy verbiage, and great feelings of muted umbrage.

In truth, as the years march on inexorably, tolerance and the bigger picture seem to come to the fore more, and any ideas that one has to compete, and be the only player allowed to play the game, fall away. If someone wants to teach others how to butle, then good luck to him or her. I am sure they realize that an insufficiency of knowledge and skills will result in a self-defeating poor word of mouth eventually, as well as violation a trust, and so will do their utmost to come up to speed and do a good job.

It would be much better if we could have a standard that all trainers adhered to: that does not mean that all the training by all schools should be the same, but it does mean that certain skills should be taught, the sum total of which would allow a trainee to perform correctly to employer expectations and standards. But surprise, surprise, when we approached butler schools about such an idea on at least three different occasions over the last decade (the Institute was founded with this as one of its key goals), in a spirit of cooperation, the prevailing view was turf protection (sorry to say).

Such a response is understandable, especially when one looks at the leaders of each school: they are refined versions of the classic “rugged individual” who have staked a claim, created a whole edifice, and left their imprimatur (stamp) on the profession. Even though I was pushing for this collaboration, I also suffered from this same malaise, and so did not push sufficiently to overcome the logistical nightmare that was presented by combining curricula, including pet concepts and proprietary systems.

And actually, did we really want to lose the variety offered by different players to service different clients and their differing needs and preferences?

Old style butling definitely calls for invisible and discreet service as a point of defining who we are as butlers. But don’t tell that to the mainland Chinese: I had to return to retrain butlers who were upsetting guests by not being in their face enough (from our point of view in the Occident), and instead, hanging around like specters (from the Oriental point of view).

If we want to stand on our principles, then we will be standing on some of our principals, too, if we feel that there is only one right way to do something. A host passes the port to the guest of honor on his right and then clockwise around the table to the rest of the guests. That is THE way to do it because it has been done that way for centuries by the British navy. But does it mean that such a protocol is a universal truth? Nope. Only for people who want to make sure they are following English tradition.

So, I do not believe the issue is “Traditional or modern?” The real issue we need to address as a still rather small group of butler trainers, is “How can we make it possible for all butler training to deliver the required results, so that our profession, and particularly the sub-set of trainers within it, is regarded well and continues to be in demand because it delivers on the promise.”

That will take a wee bit of humility, good intention, and collaboration, laying aside some of that rugged individualism!

Shall we?

Butlers in the Media

A positive and upbeat article on the demand for, duties and remuneration of, butlers.

Here’s a new one: butlers in holiday cottages in England: this owner obviously gets the message!

The only butler in Central Europe? Not likely, but a positive article, and it is good to know there is at least one butler in Prague.

Forbes and AAA release their new 5-star property ratings.

A survey of hotel guests around the world shows they are looking for personalized services, and ones that reflect their lifestyles and customs—as a mark of respect—this demand coming particularly from guests from emerging countries. The Hotel Butler fits nicely into fulfilling this demand.

Another robot butler in the offing…

An interesting discussion amongst hotel guests concerning concierges and butlers—and the ever perplexing question about proper tipping.

Amer1x1inch The Modern Butlers’ Journal for Service Professionals Worldwide, July, 2012

Let’s Talk about Wine, Part XXII

by Amer Vargas

Fortified wines, Part II

Marsala Fine, photo by Madlyinlovewithlife

Madeira is a fortified wine originally from the Madeira Islands of Portugal and is famous both as a drink and as an ingredient in traditional Portuguese gastronomy. It is produced mainly with Malvasia, Bual, Verdelho and Sercial grapes. Madeira is special, not only because of it being fortified, but also because during aging, the wine is improved by heated it up to  55 0C/130 0F. Depending on the aging time, Madeira wines are categorized as Reserve (5 years), Special Reserve (10), Extra Reserve (+15), Colheita (+15) or Vintage/Frasqueira (20 or more years). For cooking, special Madeira wine is aged for at least three years.

 

Vins Doux Naturels, photo by Marianne Casamanc

The Vins doux naturels are originally from the South of France and can be produced out of Muscat, Grenache, Macabeo, or Malvoise grapes. Whichever grapes are used, the fermentation process is stopped by adding a maximum of 10% of strong grape spirit. The most famous vins doux are the Muscats from Rivesaltes, Frontignan, Mireval, the Rivesalts, les Maury, and the Banyuls (all of them Denomination of Origin places).

The Marsala wine is a Sicilian wine presented both in fortified and unfortified versions. First produced as a cheap substitute for Sherry and Port, this drink is name after Sicily’s port, Marsala, from where it was shipped for commercialization (mainly to England). Fortified Marsala is wine produced usually with Grillo, Inzolia and Catarratto white grapes. These are blended with brandy and allowed to age for no less than four months in the case of the basic Fine, two years for Superiore, four  years for Superiore Riserva, five years for Vergine/Solera, and ten years for Vergine/Solera Straveccio and Vergine/Soleras Riserva.  Whilst Marsala is appreciated in both its fortified and unfortified versions, this wine is used frequently  in Italian cuisine.

Manhattan Cocktail, photo by Hayford Pierce

Vermouth is one of the most famous fortified wines worldwide. Its name was inspired by a German wine flavored with wormwood—a herb used in distilling absinthe. While herbs were used originally to cover rough flavors in cheaper wines, the current recipe aromatizes a neutral grape wine by adding dry aromatic botanicals, like roots, barks, flowers, seeds, herbs and spices. After fortification and aromatization, the vermouth may undergo a sweetening with cane sugar or caramelized sugar. The original drink from the 18th century was only available in dry and sweet versions, but over time, demand for greater choices resulted in the extra-dry white, sweet white, red, rosso (amber) and rosé versions that are marketed nowadays. Whilst Vermouth is sometimes used in cooking as a substitute for white wine, it is enjoyed widely on its own as an aperitif, or mixed with other spirits; indeed, bartenders find it to be one of the best mixers for their cocktail creations.

This butler suggests the easiest of cocktails: chilled vermouth with lemon peel (or Maraschino cherry if you prefer it sweet) and 2-3 drops of bitters. Cheers!

We would like to thank Mr. Vargas for his excellent series on wines around the world, which is now complete. Tune in for the next series, on spirits, starting with whiskey. Mr. Vargas can be contacted via AmerVargas at modernbutlers.com

 

Perceptions of the Butler (Part 5 of 7)

by GJ dePillis

Continuing with our questionnaire about an employer’s perception of a butler, we wanted to see how the potential employer viewed the butler in society, and how they would react to other, more serious issues.

What are the sociological implications of an employer with domestic staff?

Frequently, our image of a profession is shaped by our expectations, which are often  influenced by media. Television, marketing, books, songs, and movies set an image in our minds.  When one mentions a “butler” to a potential employer, more often than not, they think of Jeeves, the all-knowing discreet butler character from the PG Wodehouse books.  Today, more often then not Mr. Carson from Downton Abbey comes to mind.

Yet, all these characters simply serve to entertain us.  They are not real people who actually hold these positions. The real people need to contend with real problems that their employers expect them to solve, problems like day-to-day maintenance or their own personal lives.

When one mentions the word “slavery,” most people think this is a problem that does not impact people who live in the United States today.  Most Americans are actually against the concept of working for only food and shelter and not having any rights at all.  Most, also, could not imagine the position of “butler” ever being an unpaid position. Fortunately, United States citizens recognize the expertise that is required to fill the butler role and they could not imagine how such a role could be fulfilled against one’s will (as in the case of a slave).

So, we asked: if the interviewee were to travel to another home, and bring their butler with them, and noticed maltreatment of the staff in the host’s home, how would they, the interviewee, react?

While the majority (65%) wouldn’t stand for it, a surprisingly large group (35 %) said that they would allow the host to manage their own staff as they saw fit.  While they would never personally demand anything harshly from their staff, the only instance in which they felt it would be proper to intervene in the management of another’s household was if they saw their own butler in danger, or being maltreated, or if they thought someone’s life was in danger, such as from a severe beating.

  • Would you intervene if it was your butler who was mistreated? 100% said yes and that they would leave. They felt the mistreatment of their own staff would be an insult to them, personally;
  • Would you intervene if it was the staff or butler of the host who was being mistreated? 35% said they would ignore it.  65% would say something about it to the host and then leave. They would consider calling the authorities if the mistreatment were severe.

How does an employer view the person who is acting as a butler: As a unique person with their own likes and wishes, or as property they can loan out at will?

50% said they would loan out their butler to another household if they thought that household was in dire need and had no resources to find their own butler, or as a business perk for an important client.

100% of those who would lend out the services of their butler, stated they would lend him for just two days  or less.

The length of time is brief because the employer has hired this butler for his own household.  They would suggest to their friend(s) that they hire their own butler if a request was made to extend beyond two days.

Would you ask your butler first before offering their services to another household?

100% said yes.

One household, consisting of two maids, one cook, two personal assistants and a pilot, had no butler because the master of the home felt he could do the job himself.  What occurred in practice, however, was a variety of mix-ups because while he, the owner of the estate, was busy doing his business negotiations, he could not manage the staff.  His wife loved to collect expensive art  objects.  No insurance was purchased for these and no inventory was made. Therefore, in the event of damage or loss, nothing would be covered.  In looking at this, they realized they needed a butler to manage such household duties and additional projects requiring contractors, while the master and mistress followed their own pursuits.

Ms. dePillis is a freelance contributor to the Journal who is based on the West Coast of the United States. She can be reached via depillis at gmail.com

The Institute is dedicated to raising service standards by broadly disseminating the mindset and skills of that time-honored, quintessential service provider, the British Butler, adapted to the needs of modern employers and guests in staffed homes, luxury hotels, resort,  spas, retirement communities, jets, yachts, & cruise ships around the world.

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The Politically Incorrect Guide to Keeping (and Attracting) Your Better Employees

 Here are some fresh ideas and politically incorrect suggestions on the biggest expense (and loss) for hoteliers: personnel and their penchant for quitting every 18 months or so. Perceptions and expectations have changed over the last couple of decades: loyalty and longevity used to be a given virtue and now, fabulously enough, have become signs of a “loser.” Resumes of inveterate job hoppers, once frowned upon, now signal a person with “ambition and drive,” someone to have on the team. Thus looking after #1 has become a virtue and the company is somehow expected to flourish when peopled by a preponderance of team members who aren’t. The other side of the coin, of course, is what on earth have corporations been doing to so alienate their best resource? Two thousand years ago, slaves could rightly complain of many things, but job insecurity was not one of them—that’s reserved for today’s lonely employee.

One candidate for corporate shortcoming is the common misconception that there is little upward mobility in the hospitality industry, making it a stepping-stone to something else. Politics and other factors that add up to bad management play a part, too, from hotel to hotel. Yet the strong correlation between staff retention and guest satisfaction calls for better strategies for giving existing staff what they want and making the work environment desirable. No doubt, some hotels and chains exist with much better retention rates. When we hire for the private estate sector, it is with the intention of permanent placement by finding the right fit for both parties, and we come close to that goal. To move the trend in that direction in the hospitality sector, something needs to change.

Hoteliers spend 45%-50% of their operating expenses and 35% of their revenue on personnel and are rewarded with a 30-31% turnover annually at a cost of 150% average of that departing person’s annual salary: half from loss of productivity and half in placement and training costs—all while guests are less well served for the year the replacement takes to be found and come up to speed: in essence, hotel staffs are operating at about 80% of their service quality potential because of turnover.

In addition, we have a drain of talent as Baby Boomers, a generation with a visceral respect for the value of excellent service, are replaced by Gen X who numerically constitute 3/7’s the size; and Gen Y with a culture of entitlement (thanks, it seems, to advertisements that tell them they deserve the best just because; school teachers passing them willy nilly; and laissez faire/indulgent Baby Boomer parents—yes, all politically incorrect to mention, but as with any generalized overview, enough exceptions exist to prove the contention).

Here are five basic steps offered to revert the trend:

Step 1: Get the hiring process right

Beyond all the mechanical actions to bring in new staff (employee referral programs, job fairs, reaching passive job seekers, etc.), there are two key strategies that impact retention:

Hire upbeat, can-do individuals because a person’s attitude determines everything else about them, from service level to consideration for others, including their teammates and the company. Red Carnation Hotel Collection recently had four hotels in TripAdvisor’s top six in London: guest comments consistently mentioned the friendly and enthusiastic staff, which, not surprisingly, describes the kind of person they hire (and then train keenly, another plus that is made possible by the staff loving the company and sticking around).

Hire from within where possible, to encourage upward mobility and loyalty, and because loyalty and product knowledge have already been proven. One gets what one pushes.

Hospitality colleges could support their clients by moving away from training graduates who want to make large salaries managing hotels from Day One and then move onto something else; and back to bringing about hands-on doers, enthusiastic and creative hospitality professionals who understand the satisfaction of providing service to another in the fast-paced world of hospitality to be an important element of the remuneration.

Step 2: Ease out of the back door those who are holding back the team and business

The best way to improve efficiency, and the working climate, is to let go anyone failing a couple of very simple tests that take a couple of minutes to administer.

Simply ask a question about their job that they should know the answer to and see how long it takes for the answer to be forthcoming. Burblings, ums and ahs, questioning, reluctance, accusations, upset, silences, wrong answers…the longer any of these continue, the worse off the individual is as a team player and the less one wants him or her on board.

The second test is to talk to them enthusiastically about a subject and see if they respond in kind. If not, try expressing something on a different topic in a cheerful tone of voice. Still nothing more than a blank look or minimal response? Try a different topic and express strong interest in it. If they still do not come to life and start talking, make a conservative statement in a conservative tone of voice. If still nothing, then one is looking at someone who does not belong on the front lines of hospitality, to be sure, and nowhere else in an organization that wants to run efficiently. A simple cross check of their area, with their co-workers, any personnel files, references, etc., will find they are busy laying goose eggs all over the place, upsetting guests, or having projects go wrong around them. The time would be ripe for applying the usual process to let them go if they do not improve their performance during the process.

Then we have people who are gossips, always being involved in arguments and fights, or busy criticizing their fellow team players, management, vendors, and guests. They can be fixed, but can one really afford to turn the hotel into a clinic?

The biggest miscalculation by managers and HR at this point is they agree with reasons offered to justify poor performance while letting it continue. These disaffected people add up to unwilling service and a discouraged team, and that is something a manager’s gut instincts rebel against; so maybe we should have the guts to follow our guts and leave political correctness to those who promote it. It’s best for everyone in the long run, even the sourpuss.

Step 3: Give the employees what they care about

As axiomatic as it sounds and therefore perhaps trite, one needs to find out what the employees care about by asking them. As an increasing proportion of the employees are Gen X (born 1965-85) and Y (1986-2006)—and by 2017, Gen X&Y guests are anticipated to be the biggest constituency among guests, too—then it is necessary to understand what interests and motivates them. They differ from Baby Boomers in their expectations and even Gen X and Y are not driving down the same road. The following is a rough map of these divergent roads, but each individual has his own needs and wants, which only a searching survey or interview will unearth.

Gen Xers are generally focused on balancing their work and private lives, which rules out workaholism and constricts scheduling. They value diversity, inclusion, and tolerant workplaces. Other strengths include being technologically savvy, creative and innovative in solving problems, and pragmatic. They are the reason ties are rarely seen these days in the business world, and they may appear to disrespect their boss and be irritated at being micromanaged (who doesn’t), but they prefer to work independently and be self-reliant. Which means they can be given projects to work on that challenge them, and then rewarded for their output. Their people skills are not so sharp generally, so training and role-playing are called for. And their understandable cynicism about life can be ameliorated to everyone’s advantage by an upbeat management approach.

Gen Yers, perhaps with the optimism of youth, are socially conscious, so make good candidates for social and environmental initiatives. They tend to have unrealistic expectations (the entitlement culture) that need to be brought down to earth and harnessed on a career path they can relate to: including doing the technological functions they thrive on: i.e. putting them in charge of tweeting, monitoring the web, writing blogs for the hotel, or teaching old fogies how to handle their email.

Half of Gen Yers expect to be famous—perhaps because the Web has the potential for making anyone famous overnight—so let them save the day from time to time and bruit it about on the blog, newsletter, etc.

They have short attention spans that can benefit (not from multitasking, which is actually inefficient, but) from being rotated through projects and positions. If Gen Xers have difficulties with their people skills, Gen Yers are hopelessly enamored with the virtual world and find real people hard to confront and deal with—requiring training and role-playing with an exclamation point to bring them up to the standards required of hospitable people.

Note, however, with 85% of job success connected to people skills and the U.S. Department of Labor reporting over 50% turnover for customer service positions, one can only conclude there to be something seriously flawed in the people-skill training that is being offered broadly.

Gen Yer’s casual approach to service can be sublimated by lightly laying over them the expectation they can be stars, and more often than not, if one believes in them, they will rise to the occasion; and where they do not, an insistence they do, and the creation of a framework that steers them in that direction and validates them when they excel, will pick up most of them and prevent standards from dropping throughout a facility or chain.

Lastly, see Step 5 for creating the right corporate culture.

Step 4: Throw out the existing techniques for staff retention and start using effective techniques, because at 30% turnover per annum, something is seriously wrong with HR as it is currently being done. High-offers and bribing-talent-to-stay strategies appeal to money-motivated individuals who leave when a higher offer presents itself and who infect others with their wrong-headed motivation.

Certainly, many actions being taken are effective, such as providing mentors and even role models for new hires, and matching postings to interest and skills so as to mollycoddle new hires through the critical six weeks where they often chuck in the towel. A management style that encourages two-way communication, invites and validates participation and contributions that improve conditions or solve problems, will have employees going the extra mile and a team built rather nicely.

A focus on training (one third of hotels provide none) that forwards a career path can only do good; and that should include staff experiencing the hotel’s services to understand the guest point of view; and quality control based on feedback from managers and guests. Where jobs are made interesting and fun, a culture of appreciation and even admiration is encouraged, and a generally pleasant work environment is created.

Where worker burnout is preempted (40% of staff spending more time at work, 14% doing 10+ hours per day as a result of heavier workloads during the downsizing downturn) by simply listening to, acknowledging, and resolving their upsets and stresses, arranging flexible work arrangements, or lessening hours where possible, then things do improve. Better still, however, is to take a walk and get some space. Or assign them to do the opposite type work—managers being put on cleaning, for instance, for a change of pace and environment (cross-jobbing, not job sharing). These two approaches resolve the underlying exhaustion that sets in when one becomes too concentrated on a particular environment and activity.

Competitive remuneration, including benefit programs such as rooms, and caring for the welfare of the employee in terms of health, housing, schooling, etc. all help keep distractions to a minimum and can help with retention.

But where are we falling short?

In a way that all industries and professions are falling short: ethics is an unknown and unused subject, lost somewhere in the halls of philosophy. It does not exist as a technology with usable formulas and actions to take. Morals and ethics are used interchangeably in the dictionary, whereas they are different subjects with a similar goal—so no wonder hotels are struggling if ethics is a word that puts people to sleep. Similarly, “ethics panels” exist which are not ethics panels but justice boards designed to punish wrong-doing or determine innocence.

Simply put, ethics is the decision and skill to do the right thing (for all those impacted by any decision and its concomitant actions) because one wants to, not because one is bullied into doing so by following a set of rules one cannot always agree to—which is how one could define morals and laws. Without an understanding and use of ethics by each individual in a group, how can any business, political or other group, or civilization for that matter, run smoothly? The answer to that question is evident in the blather of bad news in newspapers the world over.

Ethics is basically the tool an individual uses to do well in life, for himself and those around him (because the one cannot happen without the other, long term). Its application in an organization includes identifying and neutralizing malicious staff (and “guests from hell”) so decent people can get on with their jobs and lives. It means no more soul-deadening internal politics. It means ensuring fair play through transparency in assessments; rewarding good works (keeping metrics on performance and rewarding and promoting [or demoting] based on those metrics, not opinions or nepotism); and penalizing bad [or no] works without people yelping about victimization. People value their jobs more than anything else, really, and if work becomes something bad in a culture, that culture is about to go the way of the corn-and-games Roman and all other empires that only exist now as crumbling ruins and stories in history books—a far worse victimization, surely, than rapping a n’er-do-well’s wrists.

There is more to ethics: Leigh Branham and the Saratoga Institute identified The 7 Hidden Reasons Employees Leave. They isolated apparent reasons, all of which have merit, but they do not find the really hidden reason people feel compelled to leave. It has nothing to do with how deficient the organization is, as they invariably claim. Nobody is going to say, “I am leaving this hotel because I have been turning up late every day; I used the company car for a jaunt to the Florida keys; oh, and by the way, it was me that forgot to make the reservation that resulted in Mr. Gottbucks missing his connection, etc., etc.” No, as unpalatable as it is, and no doubt beyond the ken of most people, it is the basic, hidden reason; and of course, it is quite easily resolved. But if it isn’t resolved, we will keep seeing people leaving group after group.

Lastly, the power of the word, when misunderstood, has yet to be appreciated by HR and trainers. When a Turkish waiter took an order for green peppers in an omelet and the breakfast guest choked on the Serrano peppers presented in the omelet, it is amusing in retrospect. But these misunderstandings and miscommunications add up to 80% of the trouble any business experiences, and these in turn add up to much wasted effort and lost profits. They also add up to employees leaving because they “can’t seem to get it right.” There are many ways to ferret out and slay these wrongly or partially understood words during the training process and on the job; but if not done, turnover will continue to plague the industry.

Step 5: Work out the corporate identity and philosophy that Gen X and Y can live with (and the guests, obviously) and make sure it is reflected in the actual work environment as well as the virtual world of the social media.

Many people occupy the virtual universe of cell phones, Internet tweets and blogs in preference to the real world, as anyone knows who has observed drivers on cell phones, joggers on iPods, walkers tweeting, siblings texting each other in the same room, and fellow passengers who say not a word during a 15-hour flight. The wonders of technology offer us the ability to videoconference for free around the world from a cell phone in a car to a computer on the beach where there is a wireless signal—but the price we pay is living amongst virtual humans, cut off to varying degrees from the immediacy of everything the real world has to offer. As with all things, a balance is needed, the best of both worlds must be captured. Perhaps the pendulum will swing back as Gen Z moves beyond Gen Y’s shadow.

This fifth step is large enough for a separate article, and as this one is already overlong, it ends here. Hopefully, a few concepts have rung true and for improving retention rates.

 

Originally published by Hotel Executive Review in 2011 

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The Modern Butlers’ Journal for Service Professionals Worldwide, January 2014

BlueLogo2011web The Modern Butlers’ Journal for Service Professionals Worldwide, July, 2012

The Modern Butlers’ Journal volume 10, issue 1

International Institute of Modern Butlers

IIMB Chairman Steven Ferry The Modern Butlers’ Journal for Service Professionals Worldwide, July, 2012 Message from the Chairman 

We would like to offer a “Thank You” and “Farewell” to Ms. Pamela Spruce, who has retired from teaching butlers after many years at the helm of the Australian Butler School. We wish Ms. Spruce well in her new adventures, as well as Mr. Chris Reid, who has taken over the ABS. In Ms. Spruce’s words: “I think we can both be proud of the contribution we have made to the private service industry over the past fifteen-plus  years in the business and trust that younger minds will take what we’ve achieved and build on it with fresh ideas and approaches.”

We were very happy to have stolen a couple of hours with Ms. Spruce (far right) as our paths crossed finally at the airport in Male, Maldives a few months ago—we had been training at resorts just a few miles from each other.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Continuing on the same theme, we would like to thank those who sent in  kind comments on last month’s editorial about keeping work and life upbeat. Perhaps it is fitting that we expand on the message with some comments on the training of butlers today—for while not all trainers are of the caliber of Ms. Spruce, they nonetheless all share a passion for genuinely helping others grow…but a very small minority are not so clear in their intentions, and it is such people I feel it appropriate to discuss in the hope of empowering those they afflict with their training.

As disappointing as life can become sometimes, in truth, it is actually a game where losing or winning are not such dire elements: You lose? No big deal, was the game fun to play? The better games do not require there be losers. And the better players are as happy to win as to lose, as long as the playing was fun and there are plenty more interesting games to play thereafter.

But for some people, the game of life has become desperately serious—they feel so wretched about themselves and others that they have to come out on top, even if it means cheating or hurting others in the process. Being the only recognized player becomes more important than enjoying the game, or taking joy in the contributions of other players, the skills demonstrated by self and others, and the excitement of achieving goals in a cooperative effort.

One may well meet such people when training. A while back, I did. I had left my butler students very excited about the future while I  went to service another client. I returned a few weeks later to complete their training, only to find them all of very low morale and 25% of them having left—and too many of the staff in other departments having left, too.

What had happened?

Another trainer, while claiming repeatedly to be the best trainer in the world, had told all the staff that if they did not do as he/she told them, they would be fired. Everything that they did was, according to this trainer, not good enough and they had been poorly trained;  this opinion was frequently and very loudly made known to them and their colleagues. At the same time, the butlers had been forbidden to practice or use their standard operating procedures from the moment I had left, and instead had been told verbally to perform random, contradictory, and ever-changing procedures. They were punished and shamed in front of others for wrong answers or actions. Tests were rigged for failure.

When two of the butlers rated this trainer’s training poorly in an HR follow-up survey, they were fired. Others just quit rather than face the indignities. And despite never having worked as a butler nor actually training the ones at this location in butler skills, this trainer instructed these butlers to tell guests, when they asked, that they had been trained by him/her.

The managers were unwilling to rein in this individual (because the person apparently represented the owner of the managing company), instead supporting his/her demands and trying to persuade themselves and others that there was nothing that could be done about this individual’s training and management style. Nothing could be further from the truth, however.

Technically, such a being is stuck in the past and fighting some past unknown-to-them-and-everyone-else battle. Life has ceased to be a game, and instead, has become a desperate fight to the finish, where nothing anyone else does can ever be validated as good, and everything is criticized and made nothing of. In a nutshell, other people are completely unimportant and their actions never good enough.

When nothing and nobody are good enough, and therefore dismissed, an individual cuts themselves off from much enjoyment in life—they also happen to share the same mindset as criminals, who are not able truly to enjoy and experience their ill-gotten possessions and who have to insist upon their superiority.

In truth, the best way to control others, including those one is teaching, is with love, affection, two-way communication, trust, and confidence in them—a lesson this person could learn if only they actually cared for their students and were not so sure he/she already knew everything that needed to be known. Teaching can be frustrating, but the trick is to realize that any student who does not “get it” is simply saying, “Teach me in a way I can understand.”

In the years I have been engaged in training and consulting, I have met some strange games being played by a few colleagues (copying others verbatim and then claiming the work/ideas to be their own; training others in the profession without any personal experience in it, etc.), but these are all relatively harmless and make up the giant tapestry of how we as a group pass on skills from generation to generation. Overall, we muddle through and the profession keeps going.

But where an individual specializes in pushing others down, using fear and punishment instead of understanding the dignity, aspirations, decency, and value of each individual they have been charged with educating, then they degrade the game of learning, and the game of life, into an unhappy one. Such people only succeed, they only have power, as long as individuals fail to stand up to them. All the management and staff have to do is to say, “I am sorry, I do not agree with your comments and actions. Please leave.” If the individual won’t, they can simply take whatever (legal) measures are indicated, as such abuses generally violate the laws of the land, quite in addition to any standards of acceptable training in the 21st Century.

“Where there is a will, there is a way,” as the saying goes. But where such individuals have their way, there is no will left in their victims—the life goes out of them, as the under-butler said on his deathbed in Remains of the Day.

I have quite often written about the abuse of people in service and encouraged anyone so abused to move on: we are not yet in a feudal system of service where we work in repressive conditions for little pay and no choice about where we work because the employer owns and controls us like he owns a car or a dog. A case was all over the news this past November of three ladies being coerced into domestic slavery in London for three decades, trapped by their own fear. If they had read one of my books, they might have understood the wicked web being woven by their “employers,” and perhaps acted to free themselves many years earlier.

For if those who abuse are simply left without service, then that cannot be such a bad thing: there are many, many individuals and corporations that provide perfectly good work environments. Being in service means serving from the heart, with passion; when the recipient of such service, or someone claiming to represent them, has lost sight of the fact that life is a fun game in which the server, also, deserves to enjoy life as a fellow player, then the passion is sucked out of the service game and it turns to drudgery and worse.

In this case, I am not encouraging people to move on (it would be silly to leave because of one person in an organization that is otherwise wonderful to be a part of), but to stand together in refusing to cooperate with abusive forms of training—it is not how good butlers or service professionals are made, and not the standard in our profession.

One last point from Emily Post who says in Etiquette, A Guide to Modern Manners, 1922: “Manners are made up of trivialities of deportment which can be easily learned if one does not happen to know them; manner is personality—the outward manifestation of one’s innate character and attitude toward life.”

Good manners flow naturally from good manner, and from abusive manner flow abuses that continue only as long as the recipients feel obligated to play along.

Happy to hear any comments….

 Letters to the editor

A strange letter perhaps, but a picture speaks a thousand words, as the cliche goes, and one might be forgiven for thinking this use of “butler” is just where the idea belongs.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Butlers in the Media

Apple joins the throng of those trying to move closer to electronic butlers

book review on the life of servants in England over the last two centuries, picking up where E.S. Turner left off in his great book, What the Butler Saw.

A bit of media drama about Downton Abbey and the salaries that butlers can command, and about female butlers—all good trends in terms of recognition for the improving condition of the profession.

Forrest Whitaker, who was recently nominated by the Screen Actors Guild Awards for Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor for his lead role in The Butler, talks about the training he received for that role.

Perceptions of the Butler (Part 4 of 5)

by GJ dePillis

In past segments of this article, we explored the way a potential employer thinks about a possible candidate.

In this section,  potential employers were asked how their perception of such as a butler’s accent, land of origin, culture, marital status, etc., influenced their hiring decision. Please note that the survey responses are truly held beliefs by the respondents, and are given here because they reflect a certain reality. However, the respondents’ views do not reflect the views of the author, the editor or the Institute.

© 2013 by John dePillis

A.     British: 83% Positive, 17% negative.  Some of the initial impressions of a British butler would be that they were capable, appropriate, and that there would be no language barrier, thereby fostering easier communication between employer and employee.  The negative comments included the feeling that the employee may wish to “slide by” on the notion that the perfect butler was British and use their accent as a way to shirk duties.

B.     French: 16% Positive, 84% negative. Several surveyed felt the French individual would not be dedicated to the job and would be difficult to understand, as well as possibly temperamental.

C.     Italian:  50% Positive, 50% negative (In this case, the negative was because they felt this accent is associated with a chef and not a butler)  Some positive attributes were: they felt an Italian-speaking individual would be trustworthy and stylish.

D.     Jamaican:  33% Positive, 67% negative.    Some positive attributes associated with Jamaican butlers were that they might be polite and easygoing.  However, some employers felt such a person would be not dependable but rather focused on their own pursuits instead of the interests of the employer.

E.      Asian (including butlers from India):   Positive attributes included “diligent” and “hard working.”  Those surveyed felt these employees could be counted upon to attend to detailed work.  Some negative comments included concerns about culture clashes and values.

F.      Hispanic: 35% Positive, 65% negative.   Those with negative concerns were primarily uncertain that a Hispanic individual would be able to master the skill level expected of a butler. Given a choice, they would hire such an individual for a different position at their home, but definitely not as a butler.

G.     American Southern: 70% Positive, 30% negative.   Several employers surveyed felt that this individual would be charming and the accent was received favorably.  Some of those who responded negatively expressed concern that Southern employees might use slang and improper grammar, which could reflect negatively on the employer.

H.     American Bronx:  40% Positive, 60% negative.  Some negative concerns were that this individual would seem too street-wise or tough to represent the refined gentleman’s gentleman that the employer was expecting.  Words used were: opinionated, aggressive, and  arrogant.  Employers would value a butler who possessed varied skills and could “hold their own,” yet want the butler’s façade to express elegance and discretion.  Positives simply stated they would not judge an employee on this accent and would look at their actions, instead.

I.       American Canadian: 85% Positive, 15% negative. Words associated with a Canadian butler were reliable, polite, respectful, and honest.  The few negative comments were simply associated with the desire to hire a US citizen, as opposed to a Canadian citizen.

J.       American West Coast: 90% Positive, 10% negative.  Those with negative comments expressed concern that this applicant would see the job of Butler as a temporary occupation and not take it seriously. The remainder stated such a butler’s accent was not distracting and even welcoming and familiar.

K.      Other: This section allowed the interviewee to suggest an accent and associated assumption of the character of Butler applicant.  Comments included: Russian accents implied the employee would be very strict. Several found an Irish accent pleasant, enjoyable, not stuffy, and capable.

In this next section, the employer was asked to explain if and how their perception of a candidate would vary if a butler candidate were any of the following:

  • Honorably discharged United States veteran: 100% felt very positively about this candidate.
  • Married:  35% said that a married butler would be acceptable as an applicant, but they did not expect to hire the wife in any capacity. 65% felt a married butler would prevent him from travelling with the employer, therefore viewed a married applicant negatively.
  • Single: 100% felt an applicant who was single was preferable, but with some caveats: namely that all personal social activity should occur well away from the employer’s household. There should be no scandal associated with social interactions. Romantic socializing should not include members of the staff or household. Theoretically, should the butler’s personal life be made public, his actions should not reflect negatively on the employer’s household.
  • Gay/Lesbian:  One female respondent said she would prefer a gay male so that she would not be the unintended focus of his potential romantic intentions.  The remainder of respondents stated they were neutral as long as all social interactions took place well away from the employer’s household.  Respondents also felt strongly is that the gay or lesbian butler candidate should not be romantically involved with any other member of the staff or household.  The final condition was that if the butler’s personal life ever became public, it should not reflect negatively on the employer’s household.

Finally, we challenged preconceived notions:

Would you consider a female applicant for the office of butler?  30% stated no; 70% stated yes if she were qualified and was strong enough to lift a sterling silver tea tray.

When you think of a “butler,” what race/nationality comes to mind and why? 90% stated British;  10% stated they couldn’t think of any particular group.

Would you call your butler by first name, last name, or nickname? 65%  said they would call the butler by his first name; 33% said they would ask the butler what he wished to be called; 2% said they would use his last name.

Ms. dePillis is a freelance contributor to the Journal who is based on the West Coast of the United States. She can be reached via depillis at gmail.com

Hospitality Training

After assisting LVMH further with their Grand Opening at Maison Cheval Blanc Randheli, it was time to spend a few weeks at Anantara Kihava Villas, another splendid private island in the Maldives. The Villa  Hosts put together this short Anantara Graduation video to show some of the training they received. 

Consulting the Silver Expert

by Jeffrey Herman

Q: Some of the gilding has worn off my fish slice, can it be re-plated?

A: Yes, the worn area can be sponge plated and blended into the surrounding gilding.

Mr. Herman continues to offer his services to our readers, for any questions you may have about the care of silver. Either call him at (800) 339-0417 (USA) or email jeff at hermansilver.com

The Institute is dedicated to raising service standards by broadly disseminating the mindset and skills of that time-honored, quintessential service provider, the British Butler, adapted to the needs of modern employers and guests in staffed homes, luxury hotels, resort,  spas, retirement communities, jets, yachts, & cruise ships around the world.