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The Modern Butlers’ Journal, February 2018, Message from the Chairman

Message from the Chairman

by Steven Ferry

IIMB Chairman Steven Ferry

A long newsletter this month, as usual. I hope you enjoy it, find one or more departments to be of use and/or interest, and like the new format. If you are in the mood for some levity/humour, then you might enjoy the fruits of the modern education system, as evidenced in these signs, perhaps posted by someone in a rush:

In a Laundromat: AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT.

In a London department store: BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS.

In an office: WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEPLADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN.

In an office: AFTER TEA BREAK, STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD.

Outside a second-hand shop: WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING – BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Notice in health food shop window: CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS.

Spotted in a safari park: ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR.

Seen during a conference: FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN’T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE FIRST FLOOR.

Notice in a farmer’s field: THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

Message on a leaflet: IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS.

Spotted in a toilet of a London office: TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

On a repair shop door: WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR, THE BELL DOESN’T WORK.)

Best wishes for the month ahead.

The Institute is dedicated to raising service standards by broadly disseminating the mindset and superior service expertise of that time-honored, quintessential service provider, the British Butler, updated with modern people skills, and adapted to the needs of modern employers and guests in staffed homes, luxury hotels, resorts, spas, retirement communities, jets, yachts & cruise ships around the world.”

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Newsletter Steven Ferry

The Modern Butlers’ Journal, February 2018, The Wisdom of Butlers Past

The Wisdom from Butlers Past

by Steven Ferry
IIMB Chairman Steven Ferry

The next most important element in the butler’s world two centuries ago, was polishing shoes apparently. Having the right tools was paramount, “without which no credit will be gained by the operator, whatever labour he may lavish on his work.” Having witnessed the motley collection of misused tools in the possession of some butlers, I would have to agree.

What were the tools they used in those days? A wooden knife made by the butler, to scrape off mud—mud presenting a bigger challenge two centuries ago than today; a stiff brush to remove any remaining mud and dust—the same as today; and blacking: an early form of shoe polish that at that time was normally a liquid mix of beeswax, oil, soda ash, black coloring, molasses, and tallow—animal fat—but which the author provides a recipe for in the appendix, making it out of brown sugar, cold beer, and sweet oil! He also mentions “copperas” elsewhere, which is a coloring agent and perhaps how the black is introduced. For sure, his recipe as given does not add up to blacking! He cautions to apply the blacking thinly and polish it off before it dries, or the shoes will appear brown. The blacking spoiled if exposed to air, meaning the tops of the bottles had to be corked after use.
When cleaning ladies’ shoes, the butler had to ensure his hands were clean, or risk spoiling the shoe linings. And what polish did he use? Milk or similar, with a small amount of blacking for the sole edges (or today’s heel-and-edge stick), applied with separate sponges.

The appendices offer advice on how to make and apply mix that renders shoes waterproof; how to prevent snow water from penetrating shoe/boot leather; and how to make the polishes to clean boot tops brown, or white—the latter including skimmed milk, lavender, and lemon juice—and he cautions against using brick dust…implying the use of brick dust in the application of some shoe polish, whereas it does have a use for cleaning other (mainly metallic) materials, such as knives (more of which in later MBJ issues),

While dubbin (wax, oil, and tallow) had been in use for centuries to moisten shoes (no shine achievable), at the time this book was written, butlers were using their own concoctions to protect and shine shoes in keeping with the fashions that had demanded shined shoes for the better part of a century. A few years later, the commercial manufacture of shoe polishes started to appear in the UK, the US, and New Zealand (Kiwi).

 

The Institute is dedicated to raising service standards by broadly disseminating the mindset and superior service expertise of that time-honored, quintessential service provider, the British Butler, updated with modern people skills, and adapted to the needs of modern employers and guests in staffed homes, luxury hotels, resorts, spas, retirement communities, jets, yachts & cruise ships around the world.”

 

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Newsletter Steven Ferry

The Modern Butlers Journal, February 2018, Butlers In the Media

Butlers in The Media

by Steven Ferry

IIMB Chairman Steven Ferry

Ideas for a future home include Emily, a hologram butler who obeys voice commands to turn on lighting, air conditioning, music, videos, and more: After a bathroom visit, for instance, she may remind a houseguest to drink more water based on the PH reading taken and relayed by the toilet—technology we are assured is being worked on by the King of over-the-top toilets, Toto, who already offer a completely automated, no-hands experience.

A Chinese-made “Robot Butler” can interact with voice commands, dance, play football, recognize faces, patrol homes, interact with the employer’s computer—and while this may or may not be very useful in the home, it shows a continuing trend of increasing dexterity and computational power.

For a change, a robot has not been named after butlers, but chefs, as in a robot chef called GammaChef—a machine like a large coffee maker—which puts together an entire dish of perfectly cooked ingredients from scratch. As reported by the writer, “The meat was perfectly cooked and tender, the pasta was al dente, and the aromas and flavors were rich. It was perfect.” But it only cooks things in a pot, and obviously has to be given the ingredients. In effect, it is like a bread maker—an automation of some functions.

The drive of machines/robots/automation toward doing everything for us, whether it is work or driving or farming or our own ablutions, will result in what? Certainly, it allows more dangerous, menial, repetitious, or less pleasant work to be done by robots, but does it free up those who did that work before, to do more “meaningful” or satisfying work?

What is being missed is that the most important element is to have some work to do, which gives purpose and an ability to give something back to society in exchange for the support society gives them—and in this case, any work is better than none. So, are the minimum-wage workers who are being let go (by fast food companies, for instance, when the minimum wage in the US was raised to $15 per hour), so that robots can do the same work for far less, actually finding work, or are they just ending up on welfare?

Will the drive to insert intelligent robots and automation throughout the workforce and world, push us all into being useless eaters like Jabba the Hutt of Star Wars fame—complete and obscene effect of life and everything in it?

Maybe, but before we become too worried, let’s consider something the robotics industry would prefer stayed under the carpet: several reports of robots failing and being fired: one drowned itself in a pool in a mall while another ran over and injured a toddler in a mall; another was fired for driving away homeless people from a public right of way, instead of from the grounds of its “employer;” another was fired from a Scottish supermarket when it would assist shoppers asking for directions by saying, “The milk is in the fridge section” or ignoring them because he could not hear their requests over the ambient noise. When it was demoted to enticing shoppers to try samples, it was completely outperformed by a human. In the end, the robot was just another automated, no-life, no engagement communication, like any other sign in a store.

Robot waiters were fired from a Chinese restaurant for spilling drinks and soups on diners and constantly breaking down. Two other restaurants in the country that had gone 100%-robot had to close down because of the robots’ inability to perform basic actions like pouring drinks or taking orders—and presumably the price tag of purchasing the robots in the first place—something like $7,000 US, not to mention maintaining them. With 1.2 billion or so people in the country, it is hard to see why a waiter or two could not be hired and trained.

The pattern for the next 10-15 years will be various companies looking towards creating consciousness in robots, the idea being that “if you make a machine with emotions it will be easier for people to get on with.”

And there is the rub: the people who make robots don’t have the first idea what emotions and consciousness are, otherwise they would quit trying to make matter possess them. It never has, it never will. That’s why it is matter! One cannot program life and consciousness and emotions or imbue matter with it, and have it be anything other than the physical approximations created by the real live person with consciousness who programmed or built that machine.

Finally, an interesting article from the video-gaming industry, entitled “Stop thinking of yourself as a game producer. Think of yourself as a butler.” Advice given to those writing the software to interest players includes, “Think of your players as a family in a big country house. It’s your job to anticipate their every whim, to understand what makes them happy, and to provide that service before they even realised they needed it. Being a butler isn’t a one-time thing. You’re thinking about your clients and how to improve their lives 24 hours a day. That’s a good analogy for how live ops [constantly tweaking and evolving a game so that it offers the best possible experience for the player over the longest possible period of time] should work for a modern game.”

 

The Institute is dedicated to raising service standards by broadly disseminating the mindset and superior service expertise of that time-honored, quintessential service provider, the British Butler, updated with modern people skills, and adapted to the needs of modern employers and guests in staffed homes, luxury hotels, resorts, spas, retirement communities, jets, yachts & cruise ships around the world.”

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Newsletter Steven Ferry

The Modern Butlers’ Journal, February 2018, The Butlers Speak

The Butlers Speak

Managing Contractors, Part 2 of 2

by Steven Ferry

IIMB Chairman Steven Ferry

When it comes to managing contractors, communication is the key, meeting with the site manager to nip any problems in the bud. Some butlers/HMs hover over the contractor, while others do pop-ins to check on progress—depending on the level of follow-through or supervision expected by the principal. A window-washing contractor lost a long-term contract because one of their employees placed a wet and dirty cloth on an antique chair—a fact noticed because the HM was on the ball. Some butlers/HMs prepare a list of the items to be worked on, which is appreciated by the contractors because it helps keep them organized. One HM advises on larger projects to hold one or more meetings with the various contractors to discuss the timeline and expectations for each trade, so they can coordinate and follow a realistic timeline—and the HM then sends each a copy of the timeline, including the completion date.

Then there is the question of keeping the contractors motivated for timely performance and quality work, especially in more remote areas where the company culture may tend toward the lackadaisical (lacking enthusiasm and determination) because they enjoy a monopoly. Tools to assist include a combination of the initial briefings; having open communication lines to the butler/HM, which includes insisting on obtaining the employer’s input on any unexpected changes; regular pop-in visits (often with the property staff who work in the area so they can also monitor the work) during which the butler/HM can ask questions and contractors can explain what problem they are facing and how they plan to fix it. In other words, showing interest, engagement, and granting them the courtesy of being the experts, and generally expecting them to do the right thing as a result. A bonus structure for work a) well done and b) completed on schedule also speaks to those vendors and their staff who are motivated primarily by money.

Once a contractor has proven himself, butlers and HMs tend to stick with them, even if they are more expensive, because their reliability and quality of work are priceless.

Along the same line, and in unison as if they had rehearsed their responses together, the butlers and household managers surveyed all agreed on one point—some of them quoted below:

“I want to build a trusted relationship, and that takes time and energy. It also needs to be nurtured because when people see this extreme wealth, it can create a reason to take extra time to complete their tasks.” DS

“I feel a large part of my job is to develop relationships with contractors.  I’m the person they interact with on a routine basis, so I keep it very professional while also being friendly. In order to do my job effectively, I need contractors I can depend upon. I’m flexible in my schedule when need be, but when I have an emergency I do expect them to respond promptly.” NS

“I have always found that treating all people with kindness works best. If a company is working on your trees and it’s 100-degrees outside, pick up a few bottles of cold water for the staff. As the old saying goes, ‘You catch far more bees with honey than with vinegar.’ A kind word goes a long way. So does surprising the crew with a couple dozen donuts once in a while to have with their coffee.” PW

The Institute is dedicated to raising service standards by broadly disseminating the mindset and superior service expertise of that time-honored, quintessential service provider, the British Butler, updated with modern people skills, and adapted to the needs of modern employers and guests in staffed homes, luxury hotels, resorts, spas, retirement communities, jets, yachts & cruise ships around the world.”